The chilling reason Joe DiMaggio sent flowers to Marilyn Monroe’s grave for 20 years

Marilyn Monroe, the iconic Hollywood star, and Joe DiMaggio, the legendary baseball player, shared a brief yet intense marriage.

Despite their highly publicized divorce, Joe’s deep affection for Marilyn endured long after her tragic death in 1962.

In a touching and mysterious gesture, he arranged for roses to be delivered to her grave three times a week for over two decades.

But what was the secret behind his unbreakable promise?

When Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio met on a blind date in 1952, a year after the Yankees legend retired from professional baseball, it was the beginning of a romance that would soon become one of Hollywood’s most famous love stories.

But their paths almost never crossed, as the blonde movie star was very hesitant to start dating Joltin’ Joe. Marilyn feared he might be that stereotypical, self-centered athlete. And unfortunately, her initial apprehensions about DiMaggio proved to be well-founded.

But let’s start from the beginning.

Chaotic wedding

Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio’s love story is considered epic because it brought together two of the most iconic figures of their time — Hollywood’s brightest star and baseball’s greatest hero.

Their wedding in San Francisco, in 1954, seemed like a fairytale come true, as it symbolized the pinnacle of Hollywood glamour and the American Dream.

The New York Times described their relationship as “one of America’s ultimate romantic fantasies: the tall, dark, and handsome baseball hero wooing and winning the woman who epitomized Hollywood beauty, glamour, and sexuality.”

Even though they were two of the most famous faces in the world, they were also just two normal people who happened to fall in love with each other.

Joe was a conservative Roman Catholic Italian boy who cherished the comfort of his close-knit family and home, while she was a free-spirited woman with a past shaped by foster homes. Hollywood’s glamorous life didn’t appeal to him, and baseball was a mystery to her, yet their paths crossed, and sparks flew.

”I expected a flashy New York sports type, and instead I met this reserved guy who didn’t make a pass at me right away,” Marilyn said of DiMaggio in Spoto’s 1993 biography of her. ”He treated me like something special.”

The famed ex-New York Yankee slugger saw Marilyn as ”a beautiful blonde showgirl who might double as a devoted mother and homemaker.”

Both came from previous marriages, and not everyone was thrilled about Marilyn and DiMaggio’s romance. The church, in particular, had plenty to say. As a result, their wedding was a bit more understated than it might have been if it were their first time tying the knot.

”That was something I had never planned on or dreamed about — becoming the wife of a great man. Anymore than Joe had ever thought of marrying a woman who seemed eighty per cent publicity. The truth is that we were very much alike. My publicity, like Joe’s greatness, is something on the outside. It has nothing to do with what we actually are,” Marilyn said.

”I don’t want to rush you..”

Back in 1954, weeks of speculation had surrounded the couple’s wedding plans, with the press buzzing about potential locations. Many believed the pair would exchange vows in the glitzy setting of Las Vegas.

However, the couple chose Joe DiMaggio’s hometown San Francisco, selecting Judge Charles S. Peery’s City Hall for their nuptials. Despite their efforts to keep the location under wraps, journalists managed to uncover the venue and gathered outside the building well before the couple’s arrival.

When Monroe and DiMaggio finally appeared, they were greeted by a throng of reporters and photographers. Ever the professional, Marilyn answered their questions. In contrast, the notoriously private DiMaggio remained reserved, offering few comments to the eager press.

“All right fellas, I don’t want to rush you,” DiMaggio said and continued: “but we’ve got to get on with the ceremony.”

The intimate ceremony, attended by a select few, saw the stars exchange their vows. But the real test came when they tried to leave City Hall.

Throngs of people nearly mobbed the newlyweds in the corridors, and outside, over 300 well-wishers had gathered, clamoring for autographs or just a glimpse of the superstar couple. Reporters were also desperate to know where DiMaggio and Monroe would spend their honeymoon. The Yankees star, however, gave a cryptic response before the couple hopped into a waiting Cadillac.

”North, south, west and east,” DiMaggio replied.

Later, it was revealed that the couple spent their honeymoon in Idyllwild, California, and then traveled to Japan.

Despite being newlyweds, they couldn’t completely set aside their careers. In Japan, DiMaggio assisted in training Japanese baseball players. Meanwhile, Marilyn Monroe flew to Korea, where she performed and sang for 100,000 U.S. Marines. Joe, for the first time, realized how much Marilyn’s fame overshadowed his own.

Accustomed to being the center of attention as a sports legend and American hero, he now found that it was Marilyn who captivated everyone’s interest and curiosity.

When she returned from Korea, she excitedly told DiMaggio.

“It was wonderful, Joe. You never heard such cheering.”

“Yes, I have,” he replied.

Joe DiMaggio & Marilyn Monroe children

From the start of their marriage, DiMaggio made it clear he intended to stay out of the spotlight. The superstars dreamt of creating a family, but being a housewife wasn’t one of Marilyn’s priorities.

In her autobiography, Monroe shared that she and DiMaggio had some common interests, including a desire to have children, even though she suffered from endometriosis.

Upon returning to the States, the couple settled in Beverly Hills and attempted to lead a normal life. However, early signs suggested that their situation was far from perfect or normal. DiMaggio, an intensely private individual, never felt truly at home in Los Angeles – though that was hardly the biggest issue of the marriage.

Instead, DiMaggio’s jealousy, drinking, and inability to handle Monroe’s celebrity ultimately tore their marriage apart. To make matters worse, he also physically abused Marilyn.

DiMaggio, once described by sportswriter Jim Cannon as ”the shyest public man I ever met,” reportedly wanted a stay at home wife.

He disliked being photographed or interviewed, and struggled with Marilyn’s rising stardom. Monroe, on the other hand, wanted to expand her cultural horizons with a husband who was interested in her work.

The climax came in September 1954 when Monroe began filming Billy Wilder’s comedy The Seven Year Itch, where she plays a woman who becomes the object of her married neighbor’s (Tom Ewell) sexual fantasies. The film was shot in Hollywood, but to generate more exposure, the studio staged a famous scene on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan.

Marilyn stood over a subway grate as air from the passing trains blew her white dress upwards. The iconic shoot lasted for several hours and drew a crowd of nearly 2,000 spectators. The subway grate scene became one of Monroe’s most famous moments, and The Seven Year Itch emerged as one of the year’s biggest commercial successes when it premiered in June 1955.

The last straw

Her husband, however, was deeply unsettled by the iconic scene. Eyewitnesses from the time reported that DiMaggio stood on the sidelines as spectators gaped at Monroe’s famous legs. His friends later revealed that he hated the whole thing.

Some people say he showed no public emotion during the shooting, but director Billy Wilder recalled that the baseball legend “had the look of death”.

And obviously, the skirt-blowing scene bothered him. Because just moments after the filming wrapped, Joltin’ Joe lost his temper completely. A fierce argument erupted in the theater lobby, turning into a heated shouting match between Monroe and DiMaggio.

”He said … exposing my legs and thighs, even my crotch — that was the last straw,” Monroe later shared.

Reason for divorce

Their private turmoil after the The Seven Year Itch shooting was a stark contrast to the public image of their glamorous lives. No one really knows what happened later that evening except for the two people involved. But the next day, Monroe was seen with bruises on her arms, sparking rumors that DiMaggio had become violent.

On October 6, 1954, a visibly tearful and upset Monroe stepped out of her North Palm Drive home in Beverly Hills to announce she was splitting up from DiMaggio.

She filed for divorce from the former baseball star, citing ”mental cruelty.” He was then 39, she was 27. 

Weeks later, the iconic blonde, her voice often breaking with emotion, told Santa Monica Superior Court Judge Orlando Rhodes that the former New York Yankee star was moody and even forbade her from having friends over.

The courtroom was packed with spectators, press, and attorneys who had come from other sections of the courthouse to witness the 29-year-old movie star’s testimony. Her makeup was streaked with tears as she spoke.

Dressed in a tight-fitting black wool suit with a plunging neckline, Monroe explained, ”I voluntarily offered to give up my work in hopes that it would solve our problems—but it didn’t change his attitude.”

Judge Rhodes granted the divorce after just 15 minutes of testimony.

”He was cold”

”The Yankee Clipper” didn’t contest the divorce, but he was devastated and wrote letters to Monroe, apologizing and confessing his undying love for her.

“I love you and want to be with you … There is nothing I would like better than to restore your confidence in me … My heart split even wider seeing you cry in front of all those people,” DiMaggio wrote and continued:

“Don’t know what your thoughts are about me, but I can tell you I love you sincerely — way deep in my heart, irregardless of anything.”

Some time after the divorce, Marilyn Monroe was asked about the real reason she wanted to end the marriage.

”For the reasons I gave in court. I know a lot of women when they’re getting a divorce they put out reasons which are not the true reasons. But I said the truth.”

”He didn’t talk to me. He was cold. He was indifferent to me as a human being and an artist. He didn’t want me to have friends of my own. Hr didn’t want me to do my work. He watched television instead of talking to me,” she told The Sacramento Union i 1960. 

Personal crisis

Following her divorce, Marilyn Monroe faced a personal crisis. She left Fox, began undergoing psychoanalysis, and grew weary of ”the same old sex roles.”

In 1955, seeking a fresh start, she moved to Manhattan.

Despite the upheaval, she continued her relationship with DiMaggio. During this time, she also dated actor Marlon Brando and playwright Arthur Miller, whom she would marry in 1956.

After her divorce from Arthur Miller in 1961, Marilyn seemed lost and depressed. She faced several health problems, including substance abuse and likely bipolar disorder. Alongside these struggles, she battled physical issues like endometriosis and gallbladder disease.

During this tumultuous time, DiMaggio reentered Monroe’s life and their bond grew stronger over the years. In 1961, when Marilyn was hospitalized after a nervous breakdown, it was DiMaggio who helped her get back on her feet.

He was also by her side when she woke up from an emergency gallbladder surgery that same year. Despite his unwavering support during her darkest moments, Monroe dated his friend, Frank Sinatra.

No woman ever replaced Marilyn in DiMaggio’s life.

Before her tragic death, DiMaggio began spending time with Marilyn again. According to some reports, DiMaggio confided in close friends that they were planning to remarry. Former teammate Jerry Coleman even recalled seeing them together during Marilyn’s final years.

”I was doing shows in New York and I was walking down Park Avenue to get to my car. And I saw this couple coming down and Joe’s got his head up in the air and his arm around Marilyn. And they’re just day-dreaming along and never even saw me. And so, I didn’t bother to stop and say ‘hello.’ I thought he was happy as he was, leave him alone,” Coleman said.

Marilyn dies

When the news of Marilyn Monroe’s death broke and spread across the globe, it sent shockwaves through everyone — she was just 36 years old. But no one was more devastated than her ex-husband, Joe DiMaggio, who took the heartbreaking news harder than anyone else.

The circumstances surrounding her death were somewhat mysterious and have led to numerous conspiracy theories. At the time, authorities ruled her death as a probable suicide.

Marilyn died alone, later discovered by her housekeeper and psychiatrist. She was found lifeless in her bed, her hand resting on the phone. The nightstand was cluttered with a small pharmacy of sedatives, tranquilizers, opiates, “speed pills,” and sleeping pills—a haunting testament to her struggles.

The pop culture icon had no family to notify. When the authorities came, they were unsure who to contact. In the end, they called DiMaggio.

The baseball legend took charge of Marilyn Monroe’s final arrangements, claiming her body and organizing the funeral with the help of her half-sister and manager.

Barred Sinatra and The Kennedys

Determined to keep the ceremony intimate and private, DiMaggio orchestrated a small, exclusive service at the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery, inviting only 33 people. He wanted to keep the focus of the funeral away from what he believed had ultimately destroyed her — her fame.

DiMaggio was adamant that no one from Hollywood’s elite would be allowed to attend, yet many within the industry still tried to gain permission to be there. Despite the pressures, DiMaggio remained steadfast and gave his reply.

 ”Tell them,” said DiMaggio, ”if it wasn’t for them, she’d still be here.”

DiMaggio also prohibited the Kennedy family from attending the funeral. Monroe’s mother, who was in a sanatorium at the time, was not informed of her daughter’s death and, therefore, did not attend the service either.

Believing that his former friend Frank Sinatra had played a careless role in Marilyn’s downward spiral, DiMaggio made the decision to bar him from the funeral as well.

“Joe’s planning of Marilyn’s funeral was a message to everyone that he and Marilyn still belonged together,” Rock Positano, author of Dinner With DiMaggio, told History.com.

During the ceremony, powerful emotions surfaced as Joe DiMaggio broke down in tears. Overwhelmed by grief, he was the last to leave the small chapel.

”I love you, I love you,” the New York Yankee slugger bent down to his ex-wife, and kissed her lips in farewell. 

His heartbreaking goodbye added a touching, final chapter to the tragic life of the blonde bombshell and screen legend.

Why he sent fresh, red roses

It’s clear that Marilyn’s death haunted DiMaggio for the rest of his life.

I’ll go to my grave regretting and blaming myself for what happened to her,” DiMaggio is quoted as saying in Dinner With DiMaggio.

“Sinatra told me later that ‘Marilyn loved me anyway, to the end.’”

He never remarried and rarely spoke about her. When he did date other women, DiMaggio made it clear that Marilyn’s name was never to be mentioned.

For two decades, DiMaggio honored Marilyn’s memory by sending flowers to her grave. The roses sent to Monroe’s crypt at Pierce Brothers Memorial Park in Los Angeles arrived three times a week.

The florist who received DiMaggio’s order in 1962 recalled his simple instructions: ”Three times a week… forever.”

Actor and film producer Brad Dexter, a close friend of Marilyn Monroe, had his own theory about why DiMaggio never truly let go of her.

”I firmly believe,” Brad Dexter told PBS, “that all the years that [DiMaggio] made those visitations to her grave site and left flowers. . . he was still in love with her, but also [did it] out of a great sense of guilt. Because I think he helped contribute to her demise. I’m firmly convinced that if he had behaved differently, they would have had a good marriage. He destroyed it—and he felt that guilt.”

DiMaggio’s last words

Joe DiMaggio, who chain smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, died of lung cancer at 84, in March 1999.

According to Morris Engelberg, who was DiMaggio’s lawyer, the baseball star died with Marilyn Monroe’s name on his lips. 

Lying on his deathbed, he whispered: 

”I’ll finally get to see Marilyn”. 

Morris Engelberg shared the story in Vanity Fair, revealing that this wasn’t the first time DiMaggio had opened up about his feelings for Marilyn.

”We were sitting together in the patio one night, talking about his illness, and he said, ”I don’t feel bad about dying. At least, I’ll be with Marilyn again”. 

Engelberg also dismissed a New York Daily News report that claimed DiMaggio had no last words, citing a hospice worker.