Two ladies swap ‘How I Died’ stories in heaven — and the punchline is priceless

I came across this hilarious story and just had to share it! It’s a funny twist on what might happen if two ladies met in heaven and swapped their “how did you get here” stories.

Here’s how it went:

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda!

2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I… died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive!

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so be sure to send this on to someone whose day you want to brighten!

BONUS STORY – 4 NUNS GO TO HEAVEN

A bus full of nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of Heaven and meet St. Peter.

St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line.”

And they do so.

St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?”

The sister responds, “Well, there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…”

St. Peter says, “Alright sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.”

She does so, and is let into Heaven.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?”

“Well…. there was this one time… that I held one for a moment…”

“Alright sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.”

She does so, and is let into Heaven.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another!

St. Peter sees this and asks the nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!”

Sister Susan responds, “Well, if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

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